I do not think I still have feelings of love left in me. Because no matter how much I try to, I do not feel it. Not that I cannot sense love people are showering me with. But beside that, I do not think that I still have some to give.
The last feeling of love I have are given as whole to my family, especially to both of my parents. Because from all the love I have given, the ones that never disappoint were the love I give to them. And that’s what is left on me. If it’s taken, as they are taken, I do not think I will ever love, ever again.
I had terrible dream days ago. Might be the most frightening nightmare I ever had. There was someone telling me that my mother is going to go by November. I cannot interpret well where does this word ‘go’ refers to. But it gives me uneasy feeling ever since.
For nothing frights me more, not even my death, than the death of the people I love. I do not fear my own death. If i were about to die tonight, so be it. I’ll welcome it without any hesitation. But the death of people I hold dear will break me like no other and I know I will never recover.
Because if life is something to bargain for, I will gladly give my time in exchange to their ran out time, without any hesitation.